June 12, 2003 THE WALL-SIT

JAVADSKILLZ METER:       8.5 / 10

OUTCOME: Will --  1:21:14 Jon  --  1:17:19

THE SET-UP The game is simple. Two Men sit, facing each other. But they lack one crucial element for a good sit: ANYTHING TO SIT ON!!!! Last man standing is the victor, the first man to fall must slink away in shame.

Will taunts Jon from the wall seat position, voiding him of hope.

NARRATIVE: By the Champion, Will After a few stretches to prepare the body and a few Monkish chants to prepare the soul Jon and I faced off for a good Old-Fashioned Wall-Sit. I took up position against the bathroom door and Jon clocked in on the adjacent wall. (We live in a small place, not much wall space). At first it was a little bit of shits and giggles. I taunted Jon saying things like "One time I went for 7 minutes." Few, if

Jon tries to find a Zen place to block out the pain.

any man can claim such endurance, Then, the competition moved to that next level. There were some screams and then Jon tried to find his Zen Place to block out the world. A jolt of pain brought him back to the moment. I refused to leave. Mentally, the pain and glory of a good challenge was an experience too spectacular to be missed. I engaged him with my stare. He could sense it: The Cold Hand of Defeat.

Jon in Defeat: The Challenge was simply too much!!!!!

At 1:17:19 Jon fell. In exasperation he pondered aloud, did I even make it 20 seconds. Time is irrelevant when one's body is thrusting against a wall, holding a sit proudly for the world to see. No shame today for Jon, as he nurses his tired legs. I could hold out only a mere 4 seconds more without a competitors daring gait to inspire me to fight on. Few things are as inspiring as the thrill of victory against a background of potential defeat. Today the sun is brighter. My purpose clearer. And two men's lives are bared open to the world as the empty and meaningless charades they refuse to admit them to be.

QUOTES: WILL: "In a world full of assholes, cotton is king." JON:   "Godot will show up before Mr. Durham wins another competition."

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